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Analogy of the safe - limited room, silver and gold.Coping strategies, crutches that helped us in the past.And because it's the greatest good, it requires us to give up lesser goods. Real love also purifies us from anything that is not morally wrote, but that is disordered or dysfunctional or imperfect.“Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.”― Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment.If we are the same person before and after we loved, that means we haven't loved enough.” ― Elif Shafak, The Forty Rules of Love Every true love and friendship is a story of unexpected transformation.16: "…love transforms those who love and those who are loved." Real love - Agape - burns away things that are sinful within us - it doesn't coexist with the vice within us.RCC member - so glad you can discuss tolerating being loved.Second sentence of the book, in the preface: "Loving seems entirely natural and being loved seems wonderfully good.".Bernard Brady's 2003 book "Christian Love: How Christians Through the Ages have Understood Love.this is not well understood by many people, especially those who are not in touch with trauma, or who haven't suffered as much as others.It's painful to be loved in this fallen world.There are costs to receiving love, to accepting love, to allowing love in to our hearts.Almost no one talks about the costs of being loved.Real love is given freely, but it is not received freely in this fallen world.If you don't have that memory of being loved, you are condemned to search the world for something to fill you up.To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.Why? Because we want the benefits of love, but we don't want the costs And there are consequences for that - and no one put it more succinctly than the English poet and playwright Robert Browning, who said: “Without love, our earth is a tomb” Or we will wind up always skating along the edge of love, never really entering in. How do you understand this conflict within you? Can you and I understand this push-pull, this attraction - avoidance, this Yes and No within us more clearly. The desire to become a rock, the impulse to build the walls, to keep everyone out, to repudiate love and laughter, to not need anything or anyone. It was popular because it spoke out loud what many people's parts feel. I am a rock - Paul Simon wrote it in 1965 and Simon and Garfunkel Released it as a single in 1966, and it rose to #3 on the charts - why because it resonated with people.I have no need of friendship - friendship causes pain Finally we discuss what we can do to get over our natural-level impediments to receiving love. We review why so many people refuse to be loved - and we examine the psychological and human formation reasons for turning away from love. Join me in this episode as we discuss the costs of opening our hearts to love\and the price of being loved fully, of being loved completely, in all of our parts. Summary: Real love (agape) is given freely - but it is not received freely in our fallen human condition.